I frequently experience lucid dreaming, especially shortly before waking. This morning I was dreaming about my first grown-up love affair. I was about to tell him how to to avoid dying as he did in a fall on a staircase. He was living in San Miguel, where we lived in 1970 briefly. Now there permanently with his second wife. Many casas in older colonial homes have open staircases placed against a wall, no side wall or hand railing. He fell and hit his head and bled out within a couple of hours. Late 60’s, didn’t make it to 70. His wife told me that he had also mistakenly taken too much of a blood thinner.

I’m haunted by the fact that his first wife died in a fall with too much alcohol and or medication in her bloodstream. They were drinkers, maybe alcoholics, who knows.

I thought I could warn him away from dying. Instead I woke up. Lost him again.

After his first wife died, he told me that he had had a great life and he was reconciled. I don’t know if that changed after he re-married and moved to the place he loved so well. Rest in peace, in my heart.