21 Sunday Feb 2021
Posted in aging, desire, erotic friendship, love, old love, skin hunger, the one
No one has ever slipped a pillow under my head while astride me
The idea that you wanted to make me more comfortable
Or be able to see my eyes, has never occurred before
More than once, you have surprised me by offering this small gesture of affection
I mean, really, who does that?
27 Tuesday Mar 2012
you were uncomfortable, thinking i adored you too much
i remember asking if i liked you better than you did
you replied, ‘probably’
there is a tenderness in you that is not confined to a soft white underbelly
you are wrapped in vulnerability
you should have been better loved
the train went off the tracks a long time ago and you can’t seem to get it back online
i wish you would let me help, but you cling to what is known, even if unlivable
if not adoration, just simple love
27 Tuesday Mar 2012
Posted in attraction, desire, love, the one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUJOnLOQVTY&feature=related it might be you stephen bishophttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnPMoAb4y8U&feature=related
we both agree that you are clueless when it comes to love and relationships never had a best relationship, it’s not too soon to start
you have to believe that you are lovable for starters
it’s not about how darkly tanned you are or how black her hair is, things change black hair goes gray, tans fade, those are just the surfaces
deep inside there is how she makes you feel, doubled it’s both how she makes you feel about her and how she makes you feel about yourself
it’s how she loves you, with her mind and her heart and her body how you want to give as good as you get with your mind and heart and your body
you have to like each other to sustain and love each other, try it, i can help http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBBw1MEOMWI
22 Thursday Dec 2011
you ask
do you think i’m crazy
yes, i do
i have no idea how crazy
how often
how long
it doesn’t scare me
although perhaps it should
i want to heal your wounds and
teach you the things you have never learned
how to love and accept love
you might still be crazy
or maybe i am
18 Friday Nov 2011
i will ask you to think holistically
set aside the straight blue black hair that ‘does it to you’
leave behind your concern for chemistry transmitted digitally
did you enjoy our conversation?
was i a good companion on your trip?
your best relationship has never been
is still in the future
i suggest that you frame it differently
comfort, companionship, acceptance, admiration
wouldn’t you like to be with a woman who can wrap her head around you?
then her arms and perhaps her legs
i can bring ‘the pillow book’
there is a beautiful young woman
with straight blue black hair
even straight blue black hair turns white with time
choose well
04 Friday Nov 2011
Posted in the one
well do i? i’d like to find out. get comfortable, maybe in the corner of the sofa next to the arm. then i can see if i can find a position that allows me to curl up in the crook of your arm the way my cats do.
tonight the cats tried a variety of configurations. parallel across my lap and chest, had to place my arms across my chest to provide a platform for one to rest on. they compete to have me. then in the dip of my lap and the valley of my legs. they adapt to the geography without conceding ground.
like settlers in the middle east trying to claim possession of their surroundings, squatters rights. maybe if i find my way to the crook i can claim you in the same way
17 Monday Oct 2011
like a wild horse you rear to strike
from fear
with me
there is nothing to fear
let me gentle you and you’ll see
16 Sunday Oct 2011
Posted in the one
you said you wished you were more into me. we haven’t even met, how can you possibly know how much or how little? this is the beginning in a 2 dimensional realm. i’m just beginning to get an inkling of what you’re about. what makes you feel/seem awkward/clumsy around women. why they intimidate you so. today someone i have worked with twice before told me how much she appreciated how calm i am, i don’t get rattled easily. in a crisis, i’m someone you might want to keep close to. i’m steady and reasonably skilled at diffusing conflict.
real life is fuller and more complete, meet me, let’s spend a few hours together and see what happens. drop the expectations of what will or won’t. i will if you will. your isolation is self-inflicted, meet me half way, your kitchen or mine?
12 Wednesday Oct 2011
Posted in online dating, the one
Steve Jobs, rest in peace.
some men, maybe women, too are very smart and socially awkward. there are varying degrees of smartness and awkwardness. the man i was married to is very smart and sometimes totally lacking in social awareness. when he first came to visit my parents and thereafter he would have his face in a magazine most of the time, reading. granted they had wonderful range of reading material–new yorker, atlantic, harper’s, manchester guardian and more, but he didn’t seem to realize this was not the way to interact with the young lady’s parents.
recently i’ve been chatting with a man who is very smart and i begin to understand why he is so intimidated by women and finds himself feeling awkward and clumsy. his self-monitoring is absent at times, he is both natural and raw. there is no editing, just a mix of calm reflection and bleeding, sometimes venting.
i don’t think people like this know how they are perceived by others. there is a self-centered quality to the person’s presence and maybe that’s because they can’t get out of their own way. maybe it’s because they are self-centered or some mix of both. my ex used to say that for a long time he thought he was too self-centered to have children.
being sexual may become of means of self expression that because it approximates closeness and is primarily non-verbal, is freeing for such a man/person. their conversation and gestures may be centered in sexual terms.
12 Wednesday Oct 2011
abricadabra
hocus pocus
biddidi bobbidi boo!
once upon a time,
i could conjure the man of my dreams
now
only in my dreams
heartbeatwonderings 