wise women and crones

12 Monday Sep 2011

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The Native American Indian, Hopi, Prophecy states. “When the Grandmothers speak the earth will be healed.”

when i turned 50, i came very close to hosting my own croning. just too much going on, couldn’t pull it off. i realize that many men consider a crone to be a very unattractive word/idea/woman, my ex-husband told me so and i have heard it since. women see it differently.

once a woman no longer has value to the tribe because she is past child-bearing, she may take on value based on her life experience and judgment. depends upon what tribe you belong to. there is a kind of personal power that comes with that change in status.

When our elders step across the threshold of the Grandmother Lodge, leaving their bleeding behind them, they become the Keepers of the Law. No longer is their attention consumed with the creation and rearing of their own family… Thus their attention turns to the children of all Our Relations: not just their own children, or the children of their friends, their clan or tribe, but the children of all the hoops: the Two-Leggeds, the Four-Leggeds, the Wingeds, the Finned, the Green-Growing Ones, and all others. Our relationship with this great circle of Life rests ultimately in their hands. They must give away this responsibility by modeling, teaching, and sharing the living of this law — in everyday life — to men, women, children — that all might come into balance.
~~ Brooke Medicine Eagle, Women Of The 14th Moon

hunter/gatherer dilemna

11 Sunday Sep 2011

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lesson #2 hunter/gatherers

this explains about everything!

men are hunters. they are visual, you don’t hunt with you sense of smell as your dominant sense. this could be why men are more drawn to visual images of sex, in magazines, online and in movies. yes, i’m making assumptions, i do that a lot. mostly based on my own life and wonderings. you also don’t make conversation while hunting except at a minimum. if you ask women, it’s not unusual for men to be more reserved in their conversation, both quantity and quality. there is a seeming inborn need for men for form packs and be physical, like a litter of puppies. think sports, watching sports, the military, fraternal organizations, etc. naturally this is a continuum with all shades of grey.

women are gatherers. we shop and we nest. we keep the homefires burning and keep the tribe together. we socialize, make conversation as a way of bonded the community that stays behind. we all raise the children and care for each other while the hunters are away. this is true cross cultures. this is part of the reason that for us conversing is still processing. we think by speaking. there is also little time without interruption to just think. consider the young mother who takes a bath just to get away from her kids. she can’t lock the door in case they need her. and without a locked door they visit you in the tub.

From Publishers Weekly

Mrs. Large just wants five minutes’ peace from her three rambunctious elephant children, that’s all. But what meets her eyes one morning when she enters the kitchen? “The children were having breakfast. This was not a pleasant sight.” Pure understatement for a mealtime mess that includes an overturned cereal box, a dripping jar of honey, crushed soft-boiled eggs and on the littlest one, the wearing of a once-full bowl of corn flakes. So Mrs. Large lumbers off to the bathroom, tea on tray, newspapers in bathrobe pocket. But her bubble bath isn’t soothing for long; she’s soon joined by three visitors. Lester wants to play a tune for her on the flute. “Must you?” Mrs. Large asks. Laura wishes to read out loud. “Just one page,” says Mrs. Large. The toddler offersand he will not be refusedall his bathtoys. Then they hop into the tub. Mrs. Large heads for the kitchen and finds exactly three minutes and 45 seconds of peace. This book is pure joy, one that parents, not just children, will want to keep on hand; Murphy’s frazzled mom will find a soft spot in every reader.
now you really understand evolution!

musings, meanderings and such

10 Saturday Sep 2011

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my hope for this blog is to siphon off some of my musings on love and life.

ideas constantly flood my mind and frequently escape through my mouth or electronically. what i’m learning is that sharing unedited versions of these ideas can drown a potential partner. seems i have inundated more than one. like the mighty susquehanna i have a tendency to reach flood level and then break over the banks. last weekend i incurred one victim. interesting men are enough of a rarity without wasting an opportunity. i just mean interesting to me. looking back i can see that i have no idea about the pace of online chat with men i’m just meeting for the first time. if i have the sense that there is a connection possible the floodgates open. even though i know i’m not manic i may come off that way. given that i start out as a happy camper when i get excited, i get very excited, over the top. there’s that river again. wish i had realized this sooner, bout a week ago. shit. no do-overs.

having re-entered the singles scene willingly i am learning by making lots of mistakes. i refer to this as– online, not yet dating. this is not at all like meeting someone face to face. then there is constant non-verbal feedback, cues about whether you are hogging the conversation or being appropriately attentive. i’m not looking forward to dating, per se. finding a man and making a connection where there is potential for conversation, closeness and fun would suit me just fine. for many years i thought that if i continued to do the things i love in a social setting i would meet someone and boom, that would be it!

not so much. i still do the things i love, but i realized that i need to do something proactive in the online environment. so after a failed attempt at eharmony on a dare, i arrived at okcupid. eharmony was a total bust, much more structured than i am. none of the men i sent the prescribed questions to responded and no one sent me any questions. okc, on a good day, gives you a glimpse of how someone sees themself. there is ample space for writing and most people in my age range, 50+, seem to use it. i’m a sucker for great writing and quirky men. language can be very sexy. i mean that in the edgy sense.

mostly.stephen bishop \’it might be you\’ theme from tootsie

wonderings on love and life

06 Tuesday Sep 2011

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life is short, love is a luxury.

i have enjoyed doglove, catlove, kidlove and the love of a good man. the last is what is lacking in my life and i miss it. past mid-century, more than half of my life past, i want someone in my life as an ongoing presence. needn’t be daily or live-in, but ongoing. someone to look forward to and back on.

this space will present thoughts and wonderings on love and life.

lesson #1 if you didn’t already know, women process by talking. we are not locked in to the positions we present as we speak. they are constantly subject to revision. let us talk and eventually we will get to a tentative conclusion, still subject to change.